Welcome, dear readers, to the wild world of the human brain—a place where logic takes a backseat and panic drives the bus off a cliff! If you’ve ever found yourself in a situation where your brain decides that the best course of action is to spiral into a full-blown panic, welcome to the club.
I used to think I was pretty solid in the panic department. That was before my life got flipped turned upside down*. Now, it’s pretty much any minute of any day that ends in -y where I find my brain screeching towards panic. And then what?
Grounding: Literally, just stop. Sit in a chair, or when its really hard, lay on the ground. I make myself focus on every place where my body is touching the ground and breathe. And then I keep breathing. Nice slow deep breaths while I focus on the way the breath flows in and out of my body. It’s like a <control alt delete**> for my body combined with an exercise that grabs my out of control brain, shakes it and tells it to get a grip. Actually, it centers my brain in the best possible and far more gentle way, but I like my metaphor better, so I’m sticking with it.
Values: I ask myself, who do you want to be in this moment. I remind myself that whiny little b**** isn’t on my list of values when that’s all I can come up with. I really lean into thinking about what matters to me and how I want to be able to describe myself when I tell this story again. It’s like main character energy, but for the bestest outcomes.
Action: After all that laying on the ground, it’s time to do something. Having identified how to be the hero in my own story, I need to put it into action. What is the one thing, the very next thing, that I can do that is consistent with my values, I ask myself. What is the one action that I can do in this present moment to be kind or courageous or creative? I don’t have to do it all. I don’t have to solve the whole problem. I don’t even have to get close. I just have to engage in an action that is consistent with my values. For example, getting up and walking around the block is consistent with my value to be healthy, binge eating brown sugar from the bag is not. You get the picture.
Great news! This works almost all the time except when it only works for a second and my brain goes back to panic central. Sometimes it’s a very lather, rinse, repeat*** process where I just get good and calm and then I have to go right back to the floor and start all over again. I can’t control most of the things that I would like to, but I can do things that help me stay centered and feel successful as a person. And so, I do.
*My apologies to people who didn’t grow up in the 90s watching sitcoms. We can still be friends, but we might not like the same music.
**My apologies to all Mac users who didn’t get my joke. We can still be friends, don’t worry.
*** If you didn’t get that joke, that’s three in a row. Maybe kind acquaintances is the best role for our relationship.
